STUFF: A Love Story

We all have it—the stuff that piles up, takes over, and somehow multiplies when we’re not looking.

There are so many things that go into drawers and closets and under beds and into seldom-used rooms. Things that we can't see our way clear to getting rid of, but that actually serve no useful purpose ... other than taking up space.

I moved six times over a span of thirteen years, and there were more bins than I care to admit in my basement. Each time they made the move with me, without benefit of being opened. Not once.

Now, that is not to say that I didn't know what was in (most) of them, but it in no way justified moving them, much less keeping their contents when they had not been opened in DECADES!

So, why do we do it? Why do we fill basements and storage rooms and worse, storage lockers - that we pay for - with the detritus of our lives? Or perhaps the lives of others.

Because without a fairy godmother and a little 'bibbity, bobbity, boo', letting go is hard. It's work. It takes time and the kind of steadfast commitment to purging that leaves even the strongest amongst us weak in the knees. Because the emotional weight we attach to things is real—wistful nostalgia, guilt, emotional sentimentality, and yes, even the occasional joy of rediscovering something you thought was lost forever.

But I'm learning that the weight of hanging on is far heavier than the effort of letting go.

Recently, I emptied my parents home of 62 years. The house was a vast collection of their stuff, mine, my brother's, as well as cherished items of my grandparents and even a great-aunt or two. How was I to part with things that even my parents could not?

Yet holding on left my storage room in chaos, and I risked shifting the burden of these decisions onto my kids someday—a weight I did not want them to carry.

But where to start?

My daughter is a minimalist. She's a huge advocate for going through the items in her life on a regular basis and deciding what stays and what goes. And we've all heard of people like Marie Kondo who make a living helping others lighten the load, and making it look almost effortless. There are also practitioners of Feng Shui who speak to the physical, emotional, and even financial burden of hanging on to things that no longer serve us.

So, I took a few pages from each of their strategies and sorted through the keepsakes of several generations of family members. In some instances I could not 'deal'. Grief made it impossible for me to let go. In other instances, it was easier. And when I was done (more than a week's worth of sorting and re-packing and purging and donating) I had a reasonable number of bins (and knowledge of what was in every single one of them). I also had a storage room that I could easily navigate and a feeling of lightness that I cannot understate the value of.

So, if you’re ready to break free from the grip of your stuff, here are a few simple steps to lighten the load. Because letting go isn’t just about clearing space; it’s about creating space—for clarity, for new experiences, for the things that truly matter. Whether you're sentimental (like me) or aspire to be a minimalist (like my daughter), here are five guiding principles to help navigate the process:

1. Start Small & Start Smart – Don’t attempt to overhaul an entire house in one weekend. Begin with a single category (clothes, books, sentimental items) or one space (a single drawer, a closet corner). Feng Shui advises decluttering in intentional sections to avoid overwhelming energy.

2. Ask the Right Questions – Marie Kondo’s famous “Does this spark joy?” is a great starting point, but also consider: Does this serve a purpose in my life today? Would I buy this again? If I gave this away, would someone else actually use it? If something triggers guilt (“I should keep this”), it’s a sign to let it go.

3. Honor the Sentimental, but Set Limits – It’s okay to keep meaningful items, but they shouldn’t become burdens. Choose a small "legacy box” for deeply personal keepsakes, and consider repurposing special objects (turning old fabric into quilts, photos into digital albums, etc.).

4. Let Go with Gratitude – Feng Shui teaches that objects hold energy. If something no longer serves you, thank it for its role in your life and release it. The act of acknowledging its purpose makes letting go easier.

5. Donate, Sell, or Gift Mindfully – Knowing that your things will be used and appreciated by someone else makes parting with them easier. Consider local charities, shelters, or even community groups that match your items with people in need.

   
   

One last thing: if we hold on to everything, we risk being buried by the past—physically, emotionally, and mentally—rather than making space for the present and the future.